Why do you hate me?

I am directing this question at my contacts, who seem to have beef with my eyeballs. If you've been following my twitters, this has been a week-long struggle. First I couldn't even get the damn things in. Now, I finally manage to do so, and they do this to my eye:

As you can see, it looks like the veins in my eyeball are trying to physically remove the contacts by clustering around them. The. Fuck. I am sick of wearing my glasses, but I also do not want seriously damage my eyes. Why? Why me?