Is this boring? Man, this is kinda boring huh?

I keep taking down the link only to put it up again. I should write more casually, that's it. We're all friends here.

But that's what my twitter is for. Hm, okay. Here's what I'll do: nothing 'cause I don't care that much but I had that thought. Now it's recorded here. That's what a personal blog is. Thank you.

A heightened sense of vanity lends itself to obsessive grooming habits.

I haven't succumbed to plucking or waxing body hair yet, although the hair I have on my head has been alternately tortured and treated lately. I am currently a bleach-blonde bombslut. The upkeep is tedious, as my hair is very short; roots become visible after only a week or so. I've only just started using John Frieda's Sheer Blonde Lightening Shampoo (and conditioner) but I am already seeing results. I found it for cheap in the toiletries section of my local Big Lots (where I also purchase my cheese balls and arizona green tea in bulk). I bought a 99 cent sample of Beyond the Zone's Last Call Hair Masque from Sally's. I have yet to use it; I hope it works since the bleaching process has turned the texture of my hair into that of straw.

Bath salts (eucalyptus & lavender) were buy one get one half off at Walgreens. I thought the bath would be more fragrant. Still, I had a nice soak among a few tea lights with my Mariah playlist (*~Sweet Butterfly Kissez~*) cooing in the background.

I've been pleased with Cerave's Foaming Facial Cleanser and Moisturizing Lotion. My "T-ZONE" (specifically my forehead) tends to get splotchy and irritated but this face wash/moisturizer combo seems to tone and smooth everything out nicely. I'm glad to have found something that works since warmer weather is starting to settle in, which never bodes well for my complexion.

Am I pretty now daddy? Am I pretty now?

Keyword 2k12: Apathy - an uncaring attitude or lack of interest

It's unnerving, to care so little. I'll have to face consequences for my prolonged academic indifference soon and that worries me some, a start.

It's my birthday next week. I want a toy microphone.

I don't understand why I still get the chills when I see this person. Shame and embarrassment come to mind. I'm reminded of how I held back tears in front of them and walked away, sniveling. A massive blow to my ego was dealt, 5 months later and I still return to it more often than I'd like to admit. It's pathetic how poorly I handle rejection. I'll move past it eventually, in my own time. Until then I resolve to become progressively more narcissistic. It's easier to disregard the opinions of others when all you care about is yourself.

Tommy february6
SwEEt dREAM

In golden sunlight I am with love shadow on the hill

Now leave me alone

goodbye my pumpkin 

goodbye my chocolate raspberry pie

You don't know my heart... Feels so tight 

You make me childish

You make me selfish like a kitten

In creamy rainbow

Strawberry shower

an invitation to happy flavor

Gimme a sweet dream right away

 Lyricist of our generation. Granted this is only an excerpt of the english bits. I cannot get enough of her.

A recurring day-dream places me in a party at a karaoke bar. I can't tell if the party is for me but I am clearly the center of attention. As I walk up to the mic and wait for the song to start I spot someone walking in. We lock eyes and I sing to them. The song is usually whatever is playing on my phone at the »moment«, and the person varies as well (from the vast array of gentlemen callers I may have at any given time). There is always choreography involved. My dancing and facial expressions are the focus; I don't imagine myself having any sort of singing voice. After I finish my number there is much applause and catcalling. I am fawned over. It's all very warm and fuzzy.

Having this day-dream as often as I have does not align with my current feelings of withdrawal. I'm not sad; there are no tears. I just really have been enjoying my own company lately (cyber_friends being the exception i.e. my twitter followers). Maybe I am at ease with this feeling because I know that if I want to get out and socialize with people, I can. I have a good selection of friends to choose from now. This is a luxury I afforded myself after stepping out of my comfort-zone last year in an effort to make more friends. I will continue to commit to being more sociable but I think I can allow myself to get lost in cyberspace once in a while, where there is little face2face interaction. ε-(´・｀) ﾌｰ

On a technical note: I spent a a good minute deleting/modifying my archive today. I wish I had not emptied the contents of my blogger picasa album; posts containing pictures from that album are now sullied with black boxes where the photo should be. Most of the entries I deleted were done away with for that reason. Other posts made me uncomfortable or were just embarrassing.

I did not think I would be writing here ever again. I locked it up and forgot about it until a friend left a comment on my facebook saying she missed my blog. It doesn't take much; flattery gets you everywhere with me.

I also switched to the new interface. I like it. The individual post view-counter particularly stood out. It's interesting to see which posts have more views than others or none at all. I'm not sure if I care how many people read this blog anymore, although it's nice to know that the previously mentioned friend might to visit from time to time (hi).