I originally found this on i-am-bored, titled "the dumbest teen in the world". More like "most driven teen in the world", because to be totally honest, I've never seen someone so passionate about something at such a young age. Your average teen's lifelong dreams of college and affordable housing simply pale in comparison. At just 15 years old, she has admirable lifetime goals set: "drop out of school, be on Girls Gone Wild, and to have [her] baby and there's nothing [her] stupid mutha' can say to change [her] mind." All in that order. Oh, and don't worry for her future baby, she got it like dat in the parenting department:
In this guide, Victoria would have you follow her example in the art of baby raisin':
In this guide, Victoria would have you follow her example in the art of baby raisin':1. "I will do whatever it takes to take care of my baby, if it has to come down to prostitutin' my body so be it!"
I had to listen to that last part several times before I could make out what she was saying.
2. "I'm gonna dress my baby in all brand names, and if I can't afford it. I guess I'll just have to stillit."
Watch out Baby Gap!
3. "If my baby gets cold, and it needs a blankit, it's alright, because I have it."
I could listen to her say that forever. I really could.
4. "If my baby needs clothes, it's cool, because I have tons of them."
TONS of baby clothes y'all! But only if it needs it.
5. "If my baby loses her pacifier, I have three more."
Always keep three extra pacifiers in your diaper bag.
6. To make absolutely sure you get pregnant, have sex with not one, not two, but thuh-ree guys at a time.
Only do this if you're a self-proclaimed player and/or you got it like dat.
I had to listen to that last part several times before I could make out what she was saying.
2. "I'm gonna dress my baby in all brand names, and if I can't afford it. I guess I'll just have to stillit."
Watch out Baby Gap!
3. "If my baby gets cold, and it needs a blankit, it's alright, because I have it."
I could listen to her say that forever. I really could.
4. "If my baby needs clothes, it's cool, because I have tons of them."
TONS of baby clothes y'all! But only if it needs it.
5. "If my baby loses her pacifier, I have three more."
Always keep three extra pacifiers in your diaper bag.
6. To make absolutely sure you get pregnant, have sex with not one, not two, but thuh-ree guys at a time.
Only do this if you're a self-proclaimed player and/or you got it like dat.
I also love how in her confessional, she reveals that she's had sex in public places, like this would be more shocking than the fact that she's supposedly slept with "over 300 men", or doing the nasty in her mother's bed. And why does she keep such close count? Are the 100 times in public settings part of the overall tally of 300? Or is it separate? It seems as if she's trying to break a record or something, I mean:
At the park..
At the playground(with children watching?)..
At the mall..
On the staircase to their apartment..
After that impressive list, I thought she'd get all Seussical on me:
She is a parent's worst nightmare, and I love it.
[note: I realize this might be a fictional account, but I think that only makes me love it more.]
At the park..
At the playground(with children watching?)..
At the mall..
On the staircase to their apartment..After that impressive list, I thought she'd get all Seussical on me:
She is a parent's worst nightmare, and I love it.[note: I realize this might be a fictional account, but I think that only makes me love it more.]
1 comments:
HAHAHAHAH she by herself is a spectacle, but your blog is HILARIOUS I especially love the seussical part. touche
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